Rev. (Mrs.) Esther Ekwy Madubufo, aka Mama Fruitful, is the Senior Pastor, Fruitful Men And Women Ministry International, Ejigbo, Lagos. A graduate of Political Science from Nnamdi Azikiwe University (UNIZIK), a Master of Science from the University of Lagos (Unilag) and an MBA in Human Resources from the Lagos State University (LASU, she is a prolific writer, Bible teacher, conference speaker, and International Ministers’ Forum (IMF) Nigeria, among others. The cleric, who recently celebrated her 50th birthday, spoke to EJIKEME OMENAZU on her life,ministry, and marriage. Excerpt:
How do you see the present state of Christianity?
Don’t be surprised, we are in the End-Time. A lot of things are happening and many are still coming. This is what the Lord said in Matthew Chapter 24 that we are going to see all these things happening. Nations will rise against nations; men will be lovers of themselves. That is what we are seeing in Christendom today. But that does not mean we do not have people who are kingdom-minded and heavenly-focused.
We still have men and women of God who preach the undiluted word of God. We have people who are still sacrificing, doing things right and following God, and doing the will of God, but it seems those who are on the wrong side of the gospel are more pronounced.
When you look at Christendom, it is as if we no longer have a genuine gospel message. Because we have the original, that is why we have the fake. When people come to tell me a pastor does this or that, my response is, ‘It is the sign of the End-Time’.
As some pastors are misbehaving, many others are doing greatly well with the gospel. You don’t say because of some pastor’s wrong, every other pastor is like that. It is wrong to conclude that way. During the time of Jesus’ ministry, there was a man called Baal Jesus, who was also doing fake miracles. It did not start today. As it was in the beginning, so it is now and will always be. There are evil pastors, a lot of them.
That some pastors are misbehaving does not give the impression that Christianity is wrong. There is a lot of things Christianity has done for mankind, including education, civilisation, development and lifestyles. If the early missionaries had not brought Christianity, we would have remained in the dark without formal education.
You cannot say because a child messed up in the pampas, you would throw the child away with the pampas. They don’t throw the baby away with the dirty water. You take the baby out and throw the dirty water away.
How would you describe your husband?
I don’t even know (laughter). But, my husband means the world to me. According to the Bible, there is no second coming back to the world. If there is another second coming back, I will look for him, and he will be my husband again.
He is such an amazing man, very supportive, calm, gentle, intelligent, wise, prayerful, friendly, and fatherly. He plays the role of a father to me. He is my priest, my teacher, my hero and my friend.
How did your relationship with your husband begin?
We started our relationship in secondary school. We were in the same class in primary school, and the same class in secondary school. The only thing I remembered was that in primary school, there was a long bench that they normally use for primary schools. If you removed me from his seat, I would cry and cry. My dad, who was the headmaster then, would come out from his office to find out from my class teacher why I was crying, and my teacher would say, “I just removed her from where Edison was sitting. That is all, and she started crying, disturbing the class”. My dad would say, “Put her back” (smiles). In secondary school, my locker was like his.
During our childhood days, we did things together, that is why till today, we understand each other so well.
When we finished secondary school, he told me he was not going to the university. That if he would go to the university, he would not be able to get money to marry me. He left for Lagos for ‘Igbo Servant School’ to serve a master so he could get money to be able to marry me. He served and came back.
He sacrificed his education just for me then. But, he later returned to school after we got married and now, he is a graduate. He read History and International Relations at Lagos State University, (LASU). That is why I cannot finish describing him. He is such a caring man, a loving husband and a doting father. He is humble to a fault with a heart of gold and a sacrificial spirit.
What would you say are major causes of broken homes, divorce and separation in our society, even among Christians?
The main problem is that we have many women who don’t want to be submissive to their husbands. Also, the spirit and the presence of God are lacking in many homes and marriages. Where there’s the presence of God, there’s fullness of joy. When the spirit of God is not in control of a home or family, the spirit of Satan will take control.
The incessant broken homes, divorce, and separation in our society can be reduced and limited if husband and wife will allow the spirit of God to be rooted in their lives first and then rule in their homes and marriages. With the spirit of God in control, there will be peace, mutual respect, understanding, genuine love, and submission for one another.
How would you describe how you relate with your husband as a gospel minister?
I was the one who received this call and before I ran with it, I discussed it with my husband and sought his approval. He said, “if that’s what God is telling you to do, go ahead and do it.” He supported me and is still supporting me. I can’t do anything without him. If he had said no to this birthday party, despite the preparation, I would have stopped it without any disobedience. I can’t do anything without my husband.
You will discover that because of this gender inequality and all these devilish ideas that are springing up to equate women with men, many women have become so rude to their husbands. They have no more respect for their husbands. The Bible says “men are the head”. Even when your husband is not behaving well, go back to his manufacturer, to God, to work on him and tell Him to help you reset the brain of His creation. If my husband comes now and tell me to take this thing away, even if I prefer that thing to be that way, I will take it away first and keep it.
I know how to get him. By the time we enter the bedroom, that is when I will politely tell him that thing you asked me to take away from that place, it is going to be better there. He will ask: “Is it better there?” I will say, “Yes”. Then, he would say: “Go and bring it back”.
But some women, instead of using wisdom and politeness to talk to their husbands, they will talk to them rudely and stubbornly. That is why there is crisis in many homes and marriages; due to impatience and lack of respect, mostly from the wife.
Also, due to the present economic situation in the country, majority of women have become the breadwinners of their families and funnily enough, that put them in a vantage point they capitalise on to make it look like, “After all, I’m the one paying the bills”, to demean their husbands, which is bad.
You (the wife) are his helpmeet and you’re just playing a part expected of you at that moment. You are not the breadwinner. He remains the breadwinner. Truth is, that is not a good reason or excuse for a wife to disrespect her husband. As long as he is still your husband and head, he deserves every respect.
I worked for some years before going into full-time ministry. Then, when I collected my salary, I dropped it at his feet and he would say “Take it and remove your tithe”. After that, he would ask me what other things I needed. I would tell him, and he would approve them and the amount. At times, he would tell me to keep the balance if I did not have other needs to buy. After all, I worked for the money, and I could have chosen to do what I like without his consent. That would not have stopped him from giving me money or taking up his responsibility at home. It is all about respect for my husband.
What is your advice to Nigerian women generally?
My advice to Nigerian women generally is that they should submit to their husbands; give them absolute respect and allow them to play their leadership roles without trying to usurp or struggle with them.
Eve took the position of Adam and that is where humanity is today. Assuming she told the serpent, “Okay no problem, I’ve heard you. When my husband comes, I will tell him, you are saying this fruit is good for the eyes”. They would not have eaten the fruit. Adam would have used his discretion and position to discourage it. Eve left her position and took the position of Adam to decide what she was not supposed to do, and that is where we are today.
Nigerian women are taking the position of men, and once they keep doing that, there will always be problems in the house and this will affect society. There cannot be two captains in a ship, because God has made them the head, and no one can question God’s authority on that or change it. Any attempt to do that will cause a crisis and chaos. No matter how stupid the man is, he married you, and you accepted to marry him, the submission and respect must be there. There is a way you’ll talk to him, he will listen and change.
